The French Laundry or Babes In Buyland

The following restaurant review was done by Colonel Denise Schultz, USAF Retired. Denise and her husband Tom had house sat for two months while we were in Paris. Enjoy…….


Well -- we had our ultimate Napa experience this weekend. About 3 weeks ago, we decided to try for a lunch reservation at the French Laundry (so-named as the building used to be an actual laundry), as it had just gotten it's 3rd star from Michelin -- and is listed by Gourmet Magazine as the third best restaurant in the country. After all, we had been to Berkeley's Chez Panisse (listed as the second best restaurant) twice in the past, and we considered ourselves quite sophisticated.

The reviews said that we needed to call at least 2 months in advance, but when we called that Monday, they agreed that we could come that Friday at 11:30. (We secretly wondered how good of a restaurant they could be if they could take us on such short notice.)

So, Friday morning (3 weeks ago), off we went to Yountville. We parked and walked around the restaurant's organic garden, then stopped at a lovely family winery (Jessup) and sampled a few until it was time for our reservation (they ‘comped’ us because we had been in the Air Force -- and their son was now in).

We walked the few blocks back, and the person greeting us at the door actually dropped her jaw upon seeing us. Indeed, the maitre 'd had no reservation for us -- had never heard of us -- and if we had talked to them on the phone, they would certainly have told us about the dress code, etc. (While we had "dressed up" a bit -- no tennis shoes, for example -- this being a California vacation spot in the middle of the afternoon, I was wearing good jeans, and Tom was wearing a sweater instead of a coat.)

Anyway, they were very sorry -- and surmised that we had been the recipients of a cruel joke by a man whose phone number was one digit off from the restaurant's -- and who had become so irritated lately at the wrong number calls that he had been giving reservations out.

We were amused and not upset at all -- (as we had already been wined at Jessup) -- and they told us about another restaurant they owned down the road -- a bistro named Bouchon. We were SO not upset that they decided to find us a reservation for another day -- and gave us an engraved invitation for Sunday (yesterday) at 11:45. We thanked them and went to Bouchon --which was FABULOUS!

Well -- last Friday, the French Laundry called us to confirm that we were indeed still coming on Sunday. We said certainly (or something similar in French). We awakened leisurely that morning, took a hot tub, and dressed in our finest. At the last minute, Tom said that just in case there was the odd computer snafu with the credit cards, we should take cash. So we took $250 (we had already resigned ourselves to this extravagance -- even though it was just lunch, and Chez Panisse was hovering at $80) -- and off we drove to the Napa Valley and Yountville.

We arrived -- and they were effusive in their delight that we had made it! Our table was lovely -- by the window -- and did we want sparkling water from Wales? Or perhaps mineral water from Ireland? Or even filtered ice water was available (no one on the west coast seems to use ice) --nothing was too much for us! We settled on filtered water and watched with some amusement as the large round table for 8 next to us filled up with doctors and their wives -- ordering champagne before they even sat down. We looked at our 2-page menu (which had cutely been clamped with a colored clothespin) -- so many courses with a choice between 2 items for each --but I swear I never registered a single item -- as all I saw in very fineprint at the bottom: fixe prixe: $210, service included.

Always trying to find the positive spin, I suggested to Tom that perhaps,since they were obviously taking such personal interest in each reservation in advance, that this price was for the two of us -- sort of our table charge (even as exorbitant as it seemed). Possible -- but maybe I'd just go back to where the maitre'd had met us and ask him.

So off I went – and inquired -- and absolutely, that was $210 per person -- unless you wanted the really good food, which would tack on another $30 per person -- and then of course, the wine. I told him that I was sorry, but that we would need to cancel our reservation, and perhaps they could go in and tell my husband that I needed to see him at the front door. They were fine about it, sputtering in French, but relieved that there wouldn't be any messiness.

So -- as we headed back to our Bistro Bouchon -- where we indulged in a spectacular meal again -- Tom told me that he'd opened the French Laundry wine list to find that the first entry was $4000 -- and the second one was $2000 -- and that there was nothing by the glass -- where upon I celebrated with TWO glasses at Bouchon.

We are relieved to find that we are still blue-collar Americans at heart-- we left with our dignity and wallet intact, the MDs left wallowing happily in expense account excess. Tom regrets lacking the moral courage to make some sort of stupid and futile gesture before stomping out in high dudgeon but, alas, the 60s have long since passed him by. We're Bammy-bound in less than 2 weeks.

Best wishes to All, Tom & Denise